Friday, April 18, 2014

My Weekend Crush

Every inmate dance now. If by some chance yesterday you didn’t see the first full trailer for Season 2 of “Orange Is the New Black,” I envy you the momentary anticipation before you click the play button right now. If you have already watched it, multiple times, like me I don’t envy you the burning agony of knowing how far away June 6 is. Having viewed the clip many (many, many, many) times, I have a few key thoughts.

1. Damn, Piper.

Time in the SHU has left our girl a changed woman.

2. Dayum, Vee.

Hot damn, am I excited for a new badass to make things interesting.

3. Aw, damn, Alex.

So far the split-second shot of Alex looks to be in flashback.

Netflix also released some new production stills from the season. Looks like the shot of Piper and Alex is from the same scene in the trailer.

(You can check out some more of the images here.)

Oh, and here’s a little tease from the cast. As with the show, there’s too much Larry. Dammit, June 6 is also too far away. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

May the odds be ever in Lauren's favor

So, Lauren made it to the finals of the AfterEllen Hunger Games. It has been a long, long, crazy path. But, if you still have a few more voting clicks left in you, please send Zoie Palmer Army on to glorious victory. Why? Like you have to ask.

Why Lauren? The real question is, why not Lauren? Dr. Lauren Lewis is a human in a Fae world. A doctor and an activist. A lover and a fighter. Also, don’t get me started on her incredibly Hotpants. She may not have the sheer brawn or the super powers or the sharp teeth as some of her now vanquished Hunger Games competitors. But she makes up all for it with smarts. Damn, is she smart. So smart she can turn the supernatural into mere mortals. She knows all she needs is a level playing field to win any fight. Stronger than her? Not pumped pull of junk-melting STDs, you aren’t. Bigger than her? Please, nothing is bigger than Dr. Lauren Lewis’ brain. The woman has science on her side. Also, her Magical Vagina. Those odds, well, you just can’t beat.

And if that doesn’t convince you, there are always boobs.

Vote for Lauren here. You can vote every hour until 5 p.m. EST Friday.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Endgame. Endgame. Endgame.

Fine, you win, “Glee.” I will watch for endgame. I will watch because of Brittana. I will watch to see their endgame. Are you happy now? ARE YOU HAPPY? Damn you.

p.s. I reserve the right to change my mind if the so-called endgame sucks, per usual.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Tie Me Up, Taxes Me Down Tuesday

I remain convinces that Ellen Page came out so she could wear ties on the red carpet. KIDDING! It’s a joke. I love that tiny Canadian. Her coming out was a courageous personal choice and not a shallow sartorial choice. Also, she totally wore ties before, too. Like, a bunch. Really. Sure, not three ties in three consecutive public appearances. But, you know, still. Anyway. Since today is tax day in the U.S., I thought I’d make your day a little less tiring by showcasing some more of the Other Ellen in her favorite neckwear of later. May Tie Tuesday tie you into fewer knots because of all those numbers and boxes and 1040/1099/4868 forms. Now, off to find my damn receipts.

Academy Awards

GLAAD Awards

MTV Movie Awards

Monday, April 14, 2014

Save the experimental evolutionary developmental biologist, save the world

You wait and you wait and you wait and you almost forget what you were waiting for. Almost. And then, BOOM, it is back. They are back. Tatiana Maslany is back (back, back, back, back, back, back…and apparently back). When last we saw her (and all her incarnations) it was early June. That’s a long time to stew in the delicious clonespiracy. But what I hadn’t forgotten is how much I love Cosima. And, evil as it is on their parts, how much I care about her illness. Terribly brilliant, that move – with emphasis on the terrible part. Though if it means lots of scenes of Delphine nursing Cosima her little puppy back to health, I can accept it. Oh, Saturday, get here faster.

p.s. Last Monday I thought the show was coming back that Saturday. And when I realized I had an extra week to wait I had a tiny mental breakdown. Six. More. Days.

Friday, April 11, 2014

My Weekend Crush

So yesterday someone threw a shoe at Hillary Clinton while she was giving a speech in Las Vegas. She wasn’t hurt, or hit, and the offending hurler was promptly arrested. But afterward our former Secretary of State and current Coolest Lady on the Planet was quick with a joke. And, kittens, what a joke it was.

“Thank goodness she didn’t play softball like I did.”

That’s right, suckers, our future President of the United States played softball. I feel like this is important information I should have already know. I feel like a little bit less of a lesbian for not knowing it. But now that I know, I will cherish this information forever. Man, do I want this lady to be the leader of the free world. I am so ready for Hillary. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Back to the Nest

Someone has been reading my dream journal again. The Hollywood Gods have granted another of my fondest wishes, by teaming Amy Poehler and Tina Fey back together for another movie. Oh, yeah – I own “Baby Mama.” Like you had to ask. Sheesh.

The duo will star in the comedy, “The Nest,” as two adult sisters. I’m sorry, that sound was me squealing with delight. According to The Hollywood Reporter, the sisters decide to throw one last epic party at their parent’s house before it is sold. The script is by longtime “SNL” writer and “30 Rock” guest star Paula Pell. And the movie will be directed by Jason Moore, who also helmed “Pitch Perfect.” Sorry, yes, that was just me squealing with delight again.

I don’t know when the movie will be out but fuck yeah I will be there. I think this deserves a return of Amy and Tina’s “Sexy Tennis” from the archives. Yes, yes, YAAASS.

Wednesday, April 09, 2014

Freedom to Accessorize

So yesterday after “Lost Girl” aired its finale on Syfy (hint, hint – read the Rewind Mini-Cap here), the company released a limited edition of Bo’s Magical Vagina Labrys “Freedom to Love” necklace. And, yes, believe me, it still looks like something Georgia O’Keeffe would have painted. The good news: It was created as a benefit for Benefit Plan Canada’s Because I Am A Girl Initiative, which works to empower women and girls by promoting gender equality. The bad news: It is already sold out. But, there should be more good news coming because they are restocking. Also, come on, it still looks a lot like lady bits. I rest my case.

Tuesday, April 08, 2014

I Ship It

Yeah, admit it, this is how you feel every time you turn on the TV. I pretty much have had this song in my head all weekend.[Hat tip, yellerbelly!] Damn right, I ship it.

p.s. Keep voting for the remaining members of Team Snarker (I know we have to eat our own in the Lauren v. Bette battle, but may the best badass win) in the AfterEllen March Madness: Hunger Games.

Monday, April 07, 2014


You know what I love (besides puppies and pizza and another p-word that could be crude or could mean a cat)? I love when the real-life persona is completely dichotomous from how much of the public perceives them. Like, of course, Lena Headey. The eternal lesbian heartthrob (Luce, Luce, wherefore art thou, Luce) is famous now for, of course, entirely different reasons. Most of the world knows her as the icy, cunning and endlessly ambitious Cersei Lannister. But, sweet merciful Zeus, is she ever really the opposite. Or, at least appears to be so in all her public appearances and her Instagram account. Is it possible to have a crush on someone’s Instagram account? Too late, I already do.

Lena is pretty much the polar opposite of Cersei. In fact, I think goofball might be the best descriptor. And it is just glorious.

Oh, and don’t forget her turning the House of Lannister patriarch into a loveable beach bum.

Knowing all this simply makes me giggle even more as fourth season of “Game of Thrones” returned this weekend.